musings of a random girl

Yes, yes. I know I only recently changed from fadetopain to quillsandzebras as a username.

But I've come to realize it wasn't my old blog I was sick of. It's lj in general.

So: http://quillsandzebras.wordpress.com/

That's the new me.

I'll still lurk around occasionally and post comments, but no more bloggedy-blogging here.

A ridiculous amount of time has passed since I last posted something. But I suppose, considering my almost non-existent audience, it hardly matters.

I've spent the last few minutes reading through some of my locked entries, and the other ones, the little rambles and thoughts. It's like rediscovering an old friend I'd forgotten about. Reading them, the words surged through me like songs I knew by heart. Interesting, what your mind chooses to remember, and to forget.

I have very little else to say. My days are consumed by goodreads and twitter, and devouring the words of others rather than producing any of my own.

Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following. They have to be real places, names, or things... nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person before you has the same initial. You CAN'T use your name for the boy/girl name question.

WHAT IS YOUR NAME: anna

5 LETTER WORD: amber

BOY NAME: aaron

GIRL NAME: amanda

OCCUPATION: archaeologist

BEVERAGE: alcohol

SOMETHING FOUND IN A BATHROOM: armpit hair (?)

A PLACE: antarctica

REASON FOR BEING LATE: archetypical wardrobe dysfunction

FOOD: apple

SOMETHING YOU SHOUT: ahhhhh!!!

Following my previous rant about Twitter (see here), I've decided to become a hypocrite.

Well, not really. More like give it a go. It could turn out I was right after all and that it's lame.

But I do often find lots of funny/interesting sites/videos/etc that I want to share, but can't be bothered to blog about.

Anyway, the url's http://twitter.com/quillsandzebras if you're interested.

moist
limp
ooze
beef curtains
meat

What makes a word more or less appealing, I wonder? ...any other suggestions?

So my computer, after 3 and a half years of faithful service (barring a couple panic-inducing moments), has finally given up and shown me the infamous blue screen. Unfortunately, I'm having difficulty getting my hands on the Windows startup cds I used when I first bought the computer, meaning that I don't know how long it will take for me to get everything up and running once again.

If feels like part of my body is missing, like an elbow or a neck--something you constantly use without realizing just how dependent you are upon it.

I worry about my songs no longer getting scrobbled on to Lastfm, I worry about fanfics updating without my knowing about it, I worry about losing photoshop and all those other silly programs I had installed. Thankfully I made a backup of all my personal stuff before my pc died.

I have a similar, weaker dependency on my mobile phone. Rather than feeling liberated on the rare occasions I leave the house alone without my phone, I feel panicky and lost. The route I walk nearly every day seems suddenly fraught with danger, and I am convinced that something will happen to me.

My phone addiction is partially due to the fact that I do not wear watches. I am one of those innately regimented people who likes knowing the time at all possible moments. But there is a greater, underlying need to stay connected with my friends.

I have written about this before, about the need to be hyperconnected, the need to fill every minute with some kind of activity like listening to music or texting.

But now I wonder what would happen if all technology were to fail. And I wonder what our relationship will be like with technology in the future. How much more dependent can we become?

In the anime Ghost in the Shell, they have an interesting way of looking at the future of technology. It's mobile phones and laptops combined to the extreme, so every person can access the internet via a chip of some sort within their own body. Meaning you can IM friends across town wherever they may be. Also, everyone's brain needs a firewall.

In one episode there is a psychiatric ward for those who are unable to adjust to the internet, either because they are so addicted to the internet that, given the choice, they would surf the web and ignore all other needs, or because they refuse to use the internet, and as a result are largely isolated and unable to connect with others.

I feel that these problems already exist, although to a much lesser extent. Maybe this dependency is something we should keep our eye on.

http://twitter.com/

It's all the rage in the US. But why?

"If you aren't familiar with Twitter, it is one of those things, like MySpace, that sounds totally ridiculous and stupid when you first hear about it. But once you start using it, you realize how much fun it is." -Eric Nuzum, Author of The Dead Travel Fast.

Numuz's comment makes Twitter seem almost appealing. One little problem: I don't find Myspace that much fun.

Twitter seems to be a monstruous evolution of the Facebook status updates. I'm sure all the Facebook addicts who religiously update their status will be ecstatic over this new application, as it is yet another outlet for their egocentricity.

Okay, I admit that most applications on the internet (including livejournal!) are egocentric to some extent--what form of self-expression isn't, after all? But Twitter is not made for two-way communication, besides the possibility of directing your status at a particular user. Its main use is a one-way blurb about what you are doing in that particular moment. To be frank, what makes you think anyone else cares?

On the website, it suggests that we should use Twitter because "even basic updates are meaningful to family members, friends, or colleagues—especially when they’re timely." Then, the website gives examples: "Eating soup? Research shows that moms want to know."

Eating soup?! If she's that eager to know your eating habits and you can't meet up with her for a debriefing, tell your mom when you next contact her properly via phone or email! At this rate, you might as well tell people when you are scratching your nose! After all, your dermatologist might want to know.

Besides, isn't our increasing dependency on technology slightly alarming? It has gotten to the point that we are terrified of being alone. I admit to feeling vulnerable if I leave the house without my mobile.

We have become so used to being hyper-connected to our friends and family, to knowing what they are doing at each possible moment, to texting friends when we are alone, to listening on our iPods, that time spent simply being is becoming increasingly rare.

Furthermore, what of personal privacy? Do I want everyone to know what I am doing? On a cynical note, what about when I want to lie to someone about why I didn't meet up with them? I prefer to remain slightly more elusive, thank you very much!

I'll admit I haven't signed up for Twitter, and so maybe Nuzum is right and I've have to see it all for myself to be properly convinced about this app. But seeing as I hardly bother to update my facebook status, I can't imagine spending the time to do it on yet another website.

I'm curious to hear your thoughts on the matter, especially if any of you have used the site or know someone who does. What is it about this app that makes the world all a-twitter?

It’s 7:01 pm now and what I would like most in the world is just a little bit of peace and quiet. I’ve been alone all day, sitting at home like a little duck, or more of a duckling really, waiting for mama duck to come and take care of me.

Waiting can be quite lonely, especially today when the weather is dismal and gray, the trees groaning in protest as the wind pushes them around like the schoolyard bully. The rain is the spectator to this sport, maybe even the instigator, laughing at the plight of the trees whilst the sun is away, taking care of other children.

Or maybe the rain is spit, from the clouds, mocking the trees who must forever remain rooted in the ground, unable to rise and fly, unable to change their fate in life. Trees are the people who, however much they struggle against their destiny, have been born in a prefabricated role that they must simply grown into.

Clouds and wind, they are free. They move wherever they want, they trod on whomever they want, or most of the time, anyway. But I think they are a little envious of the predestined roles of the trees, of the security and stability. As much as they have freedom, their freedom is cheapened by their inability to stop and rest. Almost like a bird who must fly forever, without the chance to rest his wings. It is a sad picture.

I wonder what I am in this cacophony of nature.